THIS IS SHARED PURELY FROM
MY OWN EXPERIENCE AND UNDERSTANDING
AND THE KNOWING I HAVE LEARNED AND INTEGRATED.
I was asked to write about living with loss,
and I accepted knowing that
I DO NOT KNOW
another beings pains and challenges from a devastating loss,
I only know my own.
I wish and hope that how I perceive loss
can inspire and help make the process softer and
hopefully ad some meaning to the empty bag of purpose of loss.
LIFE IS ABOUT CHANGE,
ABOUT LETTING GO,
FEELING THE LOSSES,
LEARNING TO VIBRANTLY LIVE
AND MOVE ON IN GRATITUDE
FOR WHAT WAS AND WHAT IS.
The moving on and living with loss
can be one of the greatest and most
devastating long-lasting painful experiences for many humans.
We get lost in the jungle of not having a physical body
to touch and smell, sleep with, play with and communicate with.
A body that we know so well, sometimes better than our own.
It feels as if we are empty and hollow,
as if a wood carver carved out all of our inner selves our hearts,
and the only thing left is the outer shell,
meaningless and empty.
We pretend, to not make others uncomfortable, so we paint
a smile on our face, we paint eyes without life, ears with ear plugs,
because we don't want to know, that despite our personal tragedy,
life really goes on as if nothing happened.
It can sometimes feel as if "my" loss never existed,
only in my life and in the lives of those close,
who are affected because of their fears of loss and change.
Abruptly, out of the blue, in a spur of a moment,
our life can be changed …
In loosing an intimate lifelong, intense love relationship,
we can be moved into a world of an echoing nothingness,
because we are used to living in a world that is only made full
from the togetherness of the relationship.
The two became one and lived with each other symbiotically,
as there was a "lost" touch with the depth of self.
After a dramatic devastating loss, a death
(physical death, divorce, other loss/death, …)
we are left with an echoic sounding board
to the empty, disconnected Divine depths of Self;
The disconnection that we filled with another being
to be able to feel whole and holy, through physical love.
We are left with the black hole of self,
disconnected from the remembering of eternal life
beyond what we perceive in physical matter.
After-life is always around, just in a different reality, beyond the physical,
but since we are so rigidly focused in physical matter
we have a challenging time accepting the transition
into a different reality of a loved one,
death, divorce, loss … all the same losses.
A parting of ways that allows for healing, growth and evolution
out of love, for one another to take place.
My losses (many, many!!) have been my most divine gifts of growth.
Leaving the worlds of blame and focus on the outside of self,
to moving in and integrating, the light shadows and the dark shadows,
all that the relationships provide
of wisdom and love.
I "had to" ...
was (is) my choice!, to find purpose in my losses,
to embrace and allow growth and inclusiveness
to unfold and integrate with dignity ...
I ("had to") learn to love and to live on my own in Freedom.
I ("had to") let go of my co-dependency to needing another human being
to be my sounding board and help me feel
whole and loved and important and inclusive.
I ("had to") learn to fill the empty echoic sounds of the depths of the ocean
with my own Sounds, my True Sacred Sounds.
I ("had to") let go of my needs to have physical closeness
to help me feel a sense of belonging,
and find intimacy from within instead.
I ("had to") come ALIVE by my own choices, and my own wisdom,
my own TRUTH!
I ("had to") go on a quest, on a Soul Search,
to find the Truth about me and re-member who I AM again …
ALL MY LOSSES ARE DIVINE GIFTING,
GIVING ME THE PERMISSION TO GO FIND
MYSELF AND ALL OF ME AGAIN,
TO FIND MY FREEDOM .
WITHOUT BEING DEFINED BY ANOTHER HUMAN BEING,
WORK, PAST EXPERIENCES,
BUT ALL OF ME SOLELY DEFINED,
BY ALL OF ME, FOR ALL OF ME.
To be able to live and thrive
with and within my losses and embrace Life,
I HAD TO END defining Life as I was taught to know it and
I HAD TO END my taught perceptions of me and my world,
limited by the beginnings and endings of physical matter.
There are no beginnings and no endings as we perceive them,
only cycles, holding
beginnings and endings and beginnings again and again anew,
moment to moment to moment.
WE ARE ALIGNING OUR SELVES WITH OUR TRUE SELVES,
AND ALL THAT IS MISALIGNED WITH TRUE SELF,
WILL FALL AWAY!
WHEN WE HAVE COMPLETED OUR CYCLES TOGETHER
THE WAY WE KNOW IT THEY END.
WHEN A HUMAN HAS COMPLETED HIS/HER CYCLE
HERE ON EARTH,
SHE/HE LEAVES, TRANSITS TO ANOTHER REALITY.
ALL IS ETERNAL AND SO IS ALL THAT WE LOST,
ALL THAT WE LET GO OF
(even if it happened with resistance and unwillingness!)
LOVE IS ETERNAL!
AND WHERE SEEDS OF LOVE ARE PLANTED,
THEY WILL GROW TO AMAZING REWARDS,
BEYOND PHYSICAL MATTER!
with GRATITUDE for the request to share my views,
TO WHOMEVER IT MAY CONCERN …
with Love and Peace,
Morayah
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